I attempted to take my life in 2011. Since then, I have felt sad. I have felt depressed. I have cried over nothing. But I haven't been suicidal. Until winter of 2022. The winter got long. And cold. And dark. There were a few days in a row that I sobbed after the kids went to school and the only thing that kept me on the earth was my toddler sitting next to me. And the thought of the trauma my kids would experience if I were to die by suicide. I reached out, talked to some friends, and made it through those days. Then spring came. Spring brought warmth and light and calm to my soul. It was a slow and mild spring that led to a lovely summer. And then I broke again. July is hot and dry and unforgiving in the desert. Our swamp cooler broke and we can't afford to fix it. Our drain is backed up so we can't wash the laundry or use the kitchen sink or the dishwasher that all lead to that drain. I have opted to home school my oldest child because her needs are not being met in the c...